Behind the reason
by gracia bella
Summary: Everyone said that school reflects every character of people. What would happen if a school that looked perfect at a high cost with a quality student turned out to have something darker and could make a student want to kill himself? This is what i will tell you. I will uncover one.Revealing one by one that maybe you guys i'm just silent but all this time i'm watching you guys...


suspect 2 : an old friend

They say that every girl should have their own guy bestfriend because having a guy bestfriend that's mean that there's no drama. Well .. that's what I feel with him. I knew him when we were in fourth grade, literally spending time together and it made me know her personality more deeply.When I found out that he was going to continue her junior high school at the same time as me, of course I was glad that I did not have to be busy looking for new friends, but all my views with him changed after the 'it'.Since he said a word that is not even appropriate for a girl to hear it ...

Dean, welcome to your part.

The first time I see you in grade 4, I can immediately see your cheerful personality. My mind can immediately say that you will be my friend and that it happens. We spend our lifetime of about 3 years more.All the jokes and sadness we seem to be able to hurl together even before the breakup. Do you remember when we were chosen to 'rap' together for our parting performances? Let me tell you that was one of my favorite moment of us.Remembering back to the time when we were dying to memorize our respective parts, laughing as we twisted the word he made me sometimes smile to myself. Then also at the time of seat transfer, you will always sit next to me. Every time you sit next to me, we are always busy with our own doubling.Always busy themselves with our conversations that actually have nothing to do with the lesson until every teacher was in a rage to see our behavior.

Without the moment the graduation finally arrived but the sad feeling disappeared when I heard that you would go to school in the same place as me.Of course I'm glad to be able to bring our friendship to the next level.

The junior year finally arrived. All students are busy with their own affairs. Some are looking for new friends, some are busy going around school to see around. When everyone is busy with their own business, that's where I see you. My pleasure can not hide.I approached you and you smile back me .. of course you reply me with a smile, you do not want to look bad in the eyes of your new friends.

I can see you how nice you are to chat with your new friends. Well they are not just ordinary people, they are the 'popular children' group, they are friends of Jane.Of course you feel very happy, you feel as though you are already in their part.

I am none other than not only as your friend can not forbid you. Somehow my feelings when it was said that this friendship will not be long. I stupidly, rather than hear the words of the heart but instead let it.I let you go, merge into them and become a person I do not know anymore ..

The days are changing, time goes away unnoticed. The longer I feel that you are far away, you are already well 'different'. There seems to be no more time for you to take your time to talk to me as before.The more days I feel the distance widened among us. But I do not really feel lost because I think that for what I need you when I have friends like Jane and others. So we're equal right? You got some new friends and i got some mine too. But my longing for togetherness as a friend I can not avoid.New bestfriends cant replace your place as my best friend Dean .. you should realize that.

My mind once again fooled me. The person I think is my own friend turns out to be stepping on my pride. Yep, Jane. Remember you about the incident? The incident where I really need you like a best friend?

When it happened to me, honestly I was very upset.I do not have any friends anymore. I feel I'm just a 'a mistake' for you guys. I do not foolishly reply but just quietly let Jane and the others make my name even worse. But .. you came. You came like my last wish to make friends. You come and be on my side. You came to my defense. You came with me.My confidence grows even a little bit about 'a real friends will come' after I am betrayed by people who I think are friends. I was touched by that time. How happy I am when we can finally get together again, how happy I am when we finally can become friends again after what happened.You are the one who accompanied me while others feel disgusted to be friends with me. You still want to hear my rant, still want to hear my story after they treat it like a shit. But all that is just a moment. All that is just a day, all that I should be able to realize that of course you prefer your friends who are in the group Jane.

The next day I see you back again with your friend. You come back to spend time with them without looking at me anymore. And worse you let Jane say I'm a 'slut', destroyer friend relationship because in her mind I have taken you, take her friend that is you. Its funny that i know you for like forever but you just dump me like that.I should have realized I was just a place for your vent. I'm just a place to stop you, you have looked at me differently.

Not enough with it, 2 weeks later, precisely during music lessons. While I struggle to give my best effort when practicing guitar, you come to me pleasantly, say him loudly and innocently.You say something inappropriate to be listened to by any girl. You said to me:

"You do not play guitar, you belong to be pole dancers in the bar ."

Two sentences you say without guilt. You leave laughing after saying the word. I stupidly let you say that. I just stay still. I let myself believe in what you say.I'm still stunned because I think we are a friend. Well i guess people change when they got some new friends right. What I can not digest is how dare you utter it from your mouth. What? Is it because of my "body"? Because of my "body" you call me 'a slut'? I thought you would protect me after what happened to me that made me have no one else.Well i guess, i'm wrong.

Not satisfied with that, you do worse things. You casually reveal my secrets. My deepest secret that I believe in you. My 'dark' secret. You sell my secrets for your friendship. Because of you, your friends start making rumors about me that make people believe.Making people more disgusted with me.

Well i guess congrats to you Dean !. Congrats for ruining me. Thank you for your service that makes me feel tortured in this school. Congratulations on you, you are one of the reasons why I decided to 'go'.Congratulations on yourself that make me proud to write down your vile actions so that everyone can read and judge you that you are not that kind of guy that everyone always thought.

After what you did to me, I still let you greet me as if this incident never happened.I still give you a friendly smile, I still always be a place for your to give some advice even if only for a moment. I let myself give you a fake smile as if nothing has happened between us. But do you know that I still remember everything and write it down here.I guess i will always be a person smile and assume people who have treated me bad as friends :).

Keep reading if you want to find out the truth.


End file.
